The Affairs

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The AffairsIntroduction: not so sexy> The 1st Affair>> A married man was having an affair> with his secretary.> One day they went to her place> and made love all afternoon.> Exhausted, they fell asleep> and woke up at 8 PM ..> The man hurriedly dressed> and told his lover to take his shoes> outside and rub! them in the grass and dirt.> He put on his shoes and drove home.> “Where have you been?” his wife demanded.> “I can’t lie to you,” he replied,> “I’m having an affair with my secretary.> We had sex all afternoon.”> She looked down at his shoes and said:> “You lying bastard!> You’ve been playing golf!”>>> The 2nd Affair>> A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters> but always talked about having a son.> They decided to try one last time> for the son they always wanted.> The wife got pregnant> and delivered a healthy baby boy.> The joyful kocaeli escort father rushed to the nursery> to see his new son.> He was horrified> at the ugliest c***d he had ever seen.> He told his wife: “There’s no way I can be the> father of this baby.> Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!> Have you been fooling around behind my back?”> The wife smiled sweetly and replied:> “Not this time!”>>> The 3rd Affair>> A mortician was working late one night.> He ! examined the body of Mr. Schwartz,> about to be cremated,> and made a startling discovery.> Schwartz had the largest private part> he had ever seen!> “I’m sorry Mr. Schwartz,” the mortician> commented, “I can’t allow you to be cremated> with such an impressive private part.> It must be saved for posterity.”> So, he removed it,> stuffed it into his briefcase,> and took it home> “I have kocaeli escort bayan something to show> you won’t believe,” he said to his wife,> opening his briefcase.> “My God!” the wife exclaimed,> “Schwartz is dead!”>>> The 4th Affair>> A woman was in bed with her lover> when she heard her husband> opening the front door.> “Hurry,” she said, “stand in the corner;> She rubbed baby oil all over him,> then dusted him with talcum powder.> “Don’t move until I tell you,”> she said, ” pretend you’re a statue.”> “What’s this?” the husband inquired> as he entered the room.> “Oh it’s a statue,” she replied,> “the Smiths bought one and I liked it> so I got one for us, too.”> No more was said,> not even when they went to bed.> Around 2 AM the husband got up,> went to the kitchen and returned> with a sandwich and a beer.> “Here,” he said to the statue, izmit escort have this.> I stood like that for two days at the Smiths> and nobody offered me a damned thing.”>>> The 5th Affair>> A man walked into a cafe,> went to the bar and ordered a beer.> “Certainly, Sir , that’ll be one cent.”> “One Cent?” the man exclaimed.> He glanced at the menu and asked:> “How much for a nice juicy steak> and a bottle of wine?”> “A nickel,” the barman replied.> “A nickel?” exclaimed the man.> “Where’s the guy who owns this place?”> The bartender replied:> “Upstairs, with my wife.”> The man asked: “What’s he doing upstairs> with your wife?”> The bartender replied:> “The same thing> I’m doing to his business down here.”>>> The 6th Affair>> Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.> He looked up and said weakly:> “I have something I must confess.”> “There’s no need to, ” his wife replied.> “No,” he insisted,> “I want to die in peace.> I slept with your sister, your best friend,> her best friend, and your mother!”> “I know,” she replied,> ” now just rest> and let the poison work.”

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